Letters to Myself

If I didn't feel tired, what would I do today?

If I didn't feel tired, I would engage in numerous tasks similar to those I handled in my previous school. For instance, I would organize various events, lead students in activities, attend multiple meetings, and connect with many people to gather inspiration and ideas. This would allow me to be highly productive and energetic throughout the day.

However, upon reflection, I realize that this busyness raises important questions: What am I truly chasing? When would I have time to listen to myself if I were constantly occupied with others? This thought makes me grateful for my tiredness. It enables me to live more slowly, observe my surroundings mindfully, and tune into my own needs and thoughts. 

Perhaps it is time for me to relax and slow down in life, appreciating the balance that fatigue brings. In conclusion, while energy might fuel productivity, tiredness teaches valuable lessons about self-awareness and intentional living. 

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If I had the love I wanted, what would today look like?*

I am somewhat confused about this topic. as many thoughts are swirling in my mind. However, reflecting on it. I believe that of I had the love I desired, my day would be filled with happiness, routine, and deep emotional connection. Let me outline what a such a day might look like. 

In the morning, I would wake up feeling content, seeing my partner beside me. I would kiss his forehead and say, "Good morning, honey," or perhaps he would do the same to me. We would pray shubuh together, fostering a sense of shared spiritually. He would then prepare for work while I got ready for breakfast. We would eat together, engaging in light conversation about our plans for the day. Before he left,  he would kiss my forehead, leaving me with a warm feeling. 

Throughout the day,  I would tidy up our home, write on my blog about our love story, read a book to nurture my personal interests. In the evening, before he arrived home, I would send him a text saying, "Miss you." Upon his return, he might bring me a red flower as a small gesture of affection. After he showered, we would have dinner together, pray isya as a couple, and share stories from our day, strengthening our bond.

In conclusion, this idealized day represents the harmony and fulfillment that true love could bring. While I am still figuring out my feelings on this topic, it highlights the importance of emotional intimacy in daily life. 

*) Brianna Wiest 101 Essays that will Change the way You Think (p. 138)

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Who from your past are you still trying to earn the acceptance of*

I know that there is still someone from my past whose acceptance I am trying to earn. This person is him: an individual I loved deeply during my senior high school years, despite his rejection and hurtful words. I often wonder why I loved him so much back then. Even though he said rude things to me, I never responded in kind.  For example, he commented that my body was fat and covered in acne, and he bullied me constantly. My best friend repeatedly advised me to stop loving him, as he clearly never reciprocated my feelings.

I have been trying to talk to myself, urging myself to forgive that era or my life, forgive him, and accept my own foolishness in the past. However, it is incredibly difficult. In my heart, I still want to say the things I have never expressed to him before. Perhaps I need to confront these feelings:

I want to say: I hate you! I never really love you even in the past. I hate you. Really-really hate you! You are the worst thing that happened in my life. I hate you! 

In conclusion, this unresolved emotion shows how past relationship can linger, affecting our present. While I strive for acceptance and forgiveness, the pain remains a challenge. 

*) Brianna Wiest 101 Essays that will Change the way You Think (p. 140)

Photo by Anna Shvets

If you didn't have to work anymore, what would you do with your days?*

If I didn't have to work anymore, I would spend my days reading numerous books and writing on my blog. This question reminds me of one of my dreams: becoming a full time mom or housewife after getting married someday. I would quit my job, stay at home, take care of my children, read extensively, and continue writing on my blog. LOL

Besides that, I would take IELTS lessons, create basic English lesson videos, enjoy my mornings and evenings with a cup of coffee, get more sleep, read, and learn Qur'an as much as possible. These activities stem from my dreams and imagination, allowing me to purse personal growth and relaxation. 

However, in reality, I love working and I think I can't live without it. For instance, during one- week holiday when I did whatever I wanted, I gradually became bored. Work provides structure and purpose to my life. 

In conclusion, while my ideas days would focus on family, learning, and creativity, I value the balance that work brings.

What about you?

*) Brianna Wiest 101 Essays that Will Change the way You Think (p. 140)

Photo by Ricky Esquivel:

Whom do you admire most, and why?*

The person I admire most is my former co-worker, whom I worked with during my time as a teacher. He embodies qualities such as kindness, firmness, and strong leadership, which have profoundly influenced my professional growth. I respect him deeply because he consistently respects my boundaries and always seeks my permission before taking any actions that might affect me. His guidance has been invaluable, providing me with numerous pieces if advice that helped me navigate challenges.

One aspect I particularly appreciate is his problem-solving approach. He always think carefully before making decisions, and he is not afraid to admit when he cannot do something if he does not fully believe in himself. His words often bring a sense of calm and relaxation, enabling me to face problems with greater confidence. Additionally, he frequently speaks positively about his wife, highlighting how well she treats him, even in front of students. Despite his knowledge, he remains humble and never arrogant. He led me patiently, offering many opportunities without interrupting my progress. When I made mistakes, he discussed them with me thoughtfully, allowing me to reflect and learn independently. This is my first time I have encountered someone so considerate and supportive. 

In conclusion, meeting such as an individual has been a rare and inspiring experience. I hope to encounter similar people in the future workplace, as they motivate me to become a better version of myself. 

*)Brianna Wiest  101 Essays that will Change the way You Think (p. 140)