Letters to Myself

 The things you love about others are the things you love about yourself.

The things you hate about others are the things you cannot see in yourself.*

I found this quote in a book I read, and it made me stop and think. Is this really true? When I see someone's behavior, do I love it because I also value it in myself?

I think the answer is yes. For example, I really appreciate people who are good listeners. I love this quality because I always try to listen to others carefully without interrupting or judging their stories. I value that trait in myself, so I admire it in others too.

However, the second part of the quote is harder to accept. When I dislike something in another person, it often acts like a mirror. Sometimes, I hate a specific attitude in others because I secretly have it in myself, but I refuse to admit it. Other times, I dislike it because it reminds me of a weakness I am trying hard to fix.

People are like mirrors for our own hearts. They help us see what we love about ourselves and what we still need to heal.

*) Brianna Wiest 101 Essays will Change the Way You Think (p. 16)

I used to think that I had to be happy every day. I believed that feeling happy meant winning at life. So back then, I suppressed my feelings and ignored every emotion that came. But keeping them inside was like holding a bomb, and finally, it exploded.

My psychiatrist told me that one of the reasons for my depression was my habit of harboring my feelings. I never expressed my pain and never talked about it. I just held everything by myself.

But then, I realized something important. Feeling sad, angry, or disappointed is completely normal. These feelings are part of life, and what you feel at a difficult time does not define who you are. Emotions are like seasons. They come and go. They are temporary, not permanent.

Did Allah promise that we have to live with happiness all the time? No, He did not.

In fact, Allah says in Surah Al-Baqarah (2:155):

"And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient."

Even the prophets felt sad and faced heavy trials in their lives. Sadness is not a sign of weak faith; it is just a natural part of being human. Allah also reminds us in Surah Al-Insyirah (94:5–6) that hardship and ease always come together: "For indeed, with hardship comes ease."

So please, embrace every feeling that comes. Every emotion is normal, and it is part of life. Healing is not about being happy every day. It is about giving yourself permission to feel, knowing that Allah is always with you through every season.

Healing is really just letting yourself feel every feeling is worthwhile.*

*) Brianna Wiest 101 Essays will Change the Way You Think (p. 41)

What would you do if you knew that nobody would judge you?*

I would do everything I want without fear of judgment. So often, we hesitate to take a step forward because we aren't ready for people’s reactions, comments, or criticism.

But if we really think about it: why should we let their opinions hold us back? Why don't we trust ourselves more? It is hard, but if you want to grow, you have to move forward and learn to tune out the noise. Let them speak; let them keep their perspectives. This is your life, and nobody gets to dictate how you live it. You are independent, and you hold the pen to your own story.

Yet, the hardest judgments often come from the people closest to us. Sometimes their criticism stems from worry, or simply from seeing things differently. And that's okay. But at the end of the day, the ultimate decision-maker for your life is still you.

I hope you learn to trust and listen to your inner voice above all others.

*) Brianna Wiest 101 Essays will Change the Way You Think (p. 140)

Living back with my parents after spending three years away in Bandung opened my eyes to a quiet reality: their struggles are real, yet they always choose to hide them from their children.

A year ago, I moved back to my hometown after realizing my mental health was deteriorating, leading to a diagnosis of a depressive episode. Throughout this past year at home, I often felt helpless, as if I couldn't contribute much because I was still fighting my own inner battles every single day.

But lately, I’ve been thinking deeply. I know my trauma lingers, it was born in my past, yet its shadows still haunt me even when I step into new spaces. Still, I ask myself: how long will I let my fear win? How long will I allow my past to hold me back while I truly want to stand up and support my parents financially?

So, what should I do next? Is it time to try again: to face my trauma, anchor it firmly in the past, and remind myself that this place is new? The environment, the atmosphere, the people, and the chapters ahead are all fresh. Maybe it’s time to let the newness finally begin.

I used to force myself to be full of energy every day. I tried to kill my laziness and low mood by pretending to be enthusiastic and cheerful. But in the end, that mask was slowly killing me. I used to pretend that everything was okay, suppressing my emotions and replacing them with a fake smile.

Eventually, I had to pay the price with a long, dark era. It was a time when all suppressed feelings suddenly knocked on my door loudly, demanding to be felt and embraced. I felt completely lost and overwhelmed back then. I cried a lot without even knowing the reason. But when I started writing down every feeling that came, I realized it had gone too far. I couldn't ignore them anymore.

Now, I am learning to accept and embrace every emotion. I don't run away from them. Even on days when I have low energy to teach my class, I still show up. I accept how I feel and teach my students as usual. I might not give them 100% of my usual energy, but at the end of the day, everything turns out fine.

Just because you are low on energy doesn't mean everything will be ruined. No, it won't. I am so grateful to work in a supportive place that understands this. They make me feel like a human, not a robot. I am allowed to feel sad, happy, disappointed, or just flat.

Real emotional maturity is how throuhgly you let yourself feel anything.*

And yes, I feel so light right now, not heavy like before. I am learning to enjoy my life with every emotion that comes. It is okay, and it is normal. Because after all, we are only human.

*) Brianna Wiest 101 Essays will Change the Way You Think (p. 39)